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Briony Hale

  • Into the Woods

    August 22nd, 2023

    A loose coalition of thoughts, some of which are only tangentially related:

    • In the last week I’ve managed to thumb my way through an old copy of Strunk and White’s while finishing a first draft. It was nice to review an old favorite, but the emphasis on punctuation and grammar and syntax (as opposed to narrative or plotting or character) has me thinking a lot about the relationship between social media and language.
    • I often tell close friends that, if given the opportunity to go back to school for a PhD, I would want to study the relationship between social media and epistemology, which is true, but my interest is as much about how language shapes our thought as it is about your preferred platform.
    • I don’t have a point, which I suppose it what’s keeping me to a regular weekly schedule. I don’t know if anyone is ever going to read this. I hope that, someday, I will. I hope that if no one else ever stumbles across these words, that at least I will be able to review them at some future date and remember what my life was like right now.
    • I like to think of the drafting process as walking through an unlit wooded area at night. I typically go in with a really good understanding of where I’m going, and an even better understanding of where I am coming from, but at a certain point in the process I am far enough away from both sides to be completely, utterly lost. I have to keep moving forward, hoping that I’m going in the right direction, but I can’t see through the fog much farther than the tiny little circle of lamplight immediately surrounding me. I just have to keep hoping that as long as I keep moving forward, I won’t stay lost in the woods forever.
    • I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I need to be working on with this first draft, but I’m already drafting the next piece and for the first time in my life I have to balance both drafting and revising at the same time. It’s a whole new skill set, but one I hope to evolve over time.
    • There are so many things I want to work on at once. Poetry, literary, commercial, trad pub, indie pub, chapbooks, zines, essays. Sometimes I feel like there is more inside of me than has a right to exist but when it comes time to externalize these things they become nebulous, vague, evanescent things which I cannot make tangible. I want to work hard but in creative work, “hardness” cannot be identified. It’s difficult not to tie in my creative hopes with my hopes for everything else in my life. I can simultaneously see the interconnected nature of things and want to keep them carefully compartmentalized. It feels so very much like fracturing a chrysalis.
    • I want to keep showing up so that I can show I’ll keep showing up. I need some kind of trail of evidence, to prove things if only to myself that I am here and I wanted this. I wanted to create something, wanted it badly enough to try even between the weight of all my adult responsibilities, wanted it even after… everything. I am here. I showed up today. I hope it’s enough.

    BH ❤

  • 10,000k

    August 15th, 2023

    I started writing longer fiction as an adult when I was sick, and in a very unhealthy relationship.

    While it was unknown that I was working on a manuscript, I was regularly able to write 5,000-7,000 words a day. On a good day I could make 9,000, but the allure of a 10,000-word day never left.

    I fully believe that if I had been left to my own devices (or, perhaps, even encouraged), I would have eventually been able to produce 10,000 words in a day. I was in love with the story I was writing.

    Unfortunately, I was not permitted to do so. Writing was making me happy, self-confident, and sure of myself in a way that people in abusive relationships are generally not allowed to be. The other person found out what I was doing, and made it a life mission to undermine me.

    I always feel terribly self-conscious writing about it. To anyone who hasn’t been in this kind of relationship, the concept of being prevented from engaging in one’s own hobbies and interests sounds foreign, unrelatable. Why wouldn’t you be able to just do what you want?

    But for those who understand… my ambitions were interfered with, and stayed fractured until years after I had left the relationship. I had to put my life, and my craft, back together around the rubble of what my life (and relationship) used to be. I did well, but I never quite returned to the 5,000-7,000 average I used to be able to do as easily as breathing.

    I’ve been struggling a lot lately. I’m close, I can feel it, but the last two years have seen a lot of false starts. I never give up, but I never feel like I’m going anywhere, either.

    Underneath all the struggles, I keep hearing a voice in my head that isn’t mine, saying that I’m wasting my time. I’ll never be successful. I need to be realistic. Who do I think I am? Why do I think I can do this?

    Last weekend, I dug my heels in. I sat down, pulled out my journal, and wrote that I was going to write 10,000 words in a day. If I couldn’t do it, the voice was right and I needed to quit writing.

    I made 10,000 words that day. I wrote 10,000 words in a day… and then didn’t write for three days. I wrote 10,000 words in a day, and then 3,000 in the next eight days.

    Two lessons.

    1. I can do anything I want to, and no one can stop me. Not even that person.
    2. I can burnout. Fairly easily, actually.

    I’m about done with the draft on this, which means I’ll be revising and editing and generally working in a way not conducive to tracking daily word counts. That’s going to be uncomfortable for me.

    But the next time I start a first draft, I know I can’t be pulling 10,000 word days. I can do 2,000 a day, every day, comfortably until it’s completed. Maybe I can push myself to a 3,000 daily average, maybe 5,000, but I am a marathon person, not a sprint person.

    That’s an okay way to be. 5,000, or 3,000, or 1,000 words a day will, over the course of time, produce a completed draft. The time will pass no matter what I do. I may as well spend it doing what I love.

    Until next time,

    BH ❤

  • Writing vs. Productivity

    August 1st, 2023

    I’ve been reading a lot about writers trying to maintain productivity while balancing everything in their life, and falling short.

    If I’m being completely honest, I’ve been having a hard time keeping up lately. With my day job, with my craft, with my friends, with my family, with the housework. There just feels like so much to do.

    All around me (and I realize how much of this is my own fault) the language of productivity hovers like low-grade pollution. There’s the corporate kind, encouraging you to “manage your own career” by doing four people’s jobs at once with the promise that it will pay off someday, we swear, in the form of more money and even less of a life.

    There’s the #girlboss kind, the social media philosophies pretending to be feminism that don’t just say you can have it all, they demand it. Have a #cleangirl #minimalist home, replace breakfast with green smoothies but never be hungry, have cute decorations and buy the latest TikTok trending item but don’t be materialistic. Be a trend chaser but never, ever try too hard.

    I have a lot of plates spinning, except most of the time… I don’t. When I say I can’t keep up, I mean that quite literally. I can’t do everything that I want to (or think I should) in a day. There is always, always, always something getting pushed off.

    That thing is never writing.

    I’m lucky. I know that. I have no delusions on that front. I have one job which sufficiently pays all of my bills. I don’t have children, or care for elderly relatives. I have a lot more wiggle room in my life than other people.

    But I also prioritize writing over everything. If I have to choose between writing and cleaning, the dishes stay in the sink. If I have to choose between writing and laundry, I’m wearing yesterday’s tee shirt and a lot of perfume. If I have to choose between writing and making dinner… there’s a salad and go across the street.

    Other people have different priorities. That’s okay. But often writing gets pushed off. There’s always something more important. Sometimes the thing that’s more important than writing is legitimate, like housekeeping or childcare or an additional job.

    Sometimes, the things people prioritize over their writing is social media. Netflix. Video games. Binging distractions so you don’t have to actually put in the work. I don’t want to be that person. I want to be focused, I want to get things done, but I want to keep actively prioritizing my writing.

    I don’t have a snappy conclusion. I just hope that I can keep showing up here to prove I showed up, that as I look back at this part of my life in the future I remember how hard I worked at something that seemed impossible, and I don’t remember the giant pile of floor laundry.

    I could spend another half an hour trying to tie this together nicely, but I have other priorities.

    BH ❤

  • Review: Becoming A Writer

    July 24th, 2023

    I was recently introduced to the book Becoming A Writer by Dorothea Brande, which was touted at the time as a superior alternative to the myriad blogs, YouTube videos, social media channels, and the like in which people with no experience give out writing advice.

    Ever in search of the less popular craft books, I managed to snag a thrifted copy and perused it over the course of a number of evenings. Brande’s take on writing is unique in the fact that, being published in 1934, it doesn’t reference social media, television, or the internet in any way. (While it seems difficult do to so in the modern age, I would argue that the craft of writing itself can and should be done free from the distractions of modern technology as much as possible, even if publishing can be done exclusively online.)

    Becoming A Writer is less about the craft of writing fiction than the psychology of committing oneself to writing regularly, and Brande rather astutely indicates that developing one’s beliefs about writing, and oneself, are preliminary to the work of developing one’s craft.

    There are a few key takeaways from the volume overall, which can rather easily be distilled to this:

    • There exists in oneself both a creative mind and a critical one, the writer and the editor, and the person who can command them both, keep them separate, and call upon each skill when appropriate will be successful where one’s peers will fail.
    • One’s literary voice is compromised, however unintentionally, by reading the prose of others, and so every measure should be taken to ensure one is writing daily before being exposed to rhetorical influence.
    • Writing is, fundamentally, about human experience. Having a wide variety of interesting experiences (material and emotional) will give one a wealth of foundation to choose from when writing.
    • The originality of you will lead to the originality of your work. Brande outlines an exercise in which she asked every member of her writing class to construct a short story based on the barest, “tritest” outline (a one sentence summary). Brande states that in spite of the fact she, herself, could only construct two version of the same story from this outline, her students produced “twelve versions so different from each other that any editor could have read them all on the same day without realizing that the point of departure was the same in each” (pg, 127). She observes that each student “had seen the situation in some purely personal light, and that what seemed so inevitable to her was fresh and unforeseen to others” (pg. 127-128).
    • Brande advocates for series of exercises, which include optimizing oneself ergonomically so that the physical act of writing does not become painful or burdensome for long periods of time, rising early and writing before all other distraction or exposure to the work of others, and developing the discipline of writing on schedule.

    While I enjoy Brande’s style, a lot of this insight will feel familiar to people who spend a lot of time on internet communities oriented around writing. Where Brande really shines is in the last few chapters of the book. She deviates from discussion of writing exercises to focus on what she considers the third piece of a triad, in which genius joins the artist and the critic. Brande spends these last pages exploring the relationship between mind, body, and genius, drawing her conclusions from commonalities in the processes of writers who, on the surface, seem wildly different.

    While I don’t think everyone has to go buy this one immediately, the fact that it’s fairly simple to thrift for cheap, and is a quick read, makes it something I would readily recommend to the curious, collectors of craft books, or someone very new to the craft who might better be served actually writing than scouring the internet for a good little tidbit of writing advice.

    Speaking of which, a draft is calling me…

    BH ❤

  • Belated Beginnings

    July 17th, 2023

    I admit, I intended to start this a few weeks ago and got caught up. I wish I was one of those over-productive people who could go full steam ahead even while on vacation, but I took a few weeks off (planned, I had PTO) and even the housework took a break. It’s kind of a problem hole I dug myself which I now have to crawl my way out of, but I feel better than I did before. More rested. More relaxed. Less stressed, even though I objective put more on my plate than I had been trying to juggle before my time off.

    I’m trying to balance my day job, which I have to do all the time so I won’t be homeless, with my housekeeping duties, which I have to do to justify working so much to pay rent for. Nothing makes your mental health take a hit quite like having a home that isn’t up to par. Clutter and mess and disorganization and piled up dishes you haven’t cleaned will tank your creativity faster than anything.

    And on top of that I have multiple projects I’m juggling, tentative titles I’ll be keeping to myself just a little bit longer, while also trying to do all the necessary ground work to make sure that I’m making good stuff while I’m doing the creative work.

    Objectively, it looks like a lot for one person to have on their plate all on their own, and subjectively it just feels like spinning a hundred thousand plates at once. I know that the pace I want to set won’t be sustainable long term, and I’m unfortunately a work horse. I have the kind of personality that I could work myself to burnout every three weeks if left unchecked. I definitely don’t want to do that.

    But I’m also feeling so, so excited for the future and energized right now, and I want to make sure that I capitalize on every ounce of initiative I have while I still have it. The more I can systematize and automate the parts of my life that are sisyphean, the better it will be for my creative work in the long run.

    I’m trying to finish up one craft book, which I hope to ~review next week, but I’m also reading fiction for background research on a secondary project. In the meantime, the steady clackety sound you’ll hear will be me abusing my poor, poor keyboard.

    Much love,

    BH ❤

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