I’ve been reading a lot about writers trying to maintain productivity while balancing everything in their life, and falling short.

If I’m being completely honest, I’ve been having a hard time keeping up lately. With my day job, with my craft, with my friends, with my family, with the housework. There just feels like so much to do.

All around me (and I realize how much of this is my own fault) the language of productivity hovers like low-grade pollution. There’s the corporate kind, encouraging you to “manage your own career” by doing four people’s jobs at once with the promise that it will pay off someday, we swear, in the form of more money and even less of a life.

There’s the #girlboss kind, the social media philosophies pretending to be feminism that don’t just say you can have it all, they demand it. Have a #cleangirl #minimalist home, replace breakfast with green smoothies but never be hungry, have cute decorations and buy the latest TikTok trending item but don’t be materialistic. Be a trend chaser but never, ever try too hard.

I have a lot of plates spinning, except most of the time… I don’t. When I say I can’t keep up, I mean that quite literally. I can’t do everything that I want to (or think I should) in a day. There is always, always, always something getting pushed off.

That thing is never writing.

I’m lucky. I know that. I have no delusions on that front. I have one job which sufficiently pays all of my bills. I don’t have children, or care for elderly relatives. I have a lot more wiggle room in my life than other people.

But I also prioritize writing over everything. If I have to choose between writing and cleaning, the dishes stay in the sink. If I have to choose between writing and laundry, I’m wearing yesterday’s tee shirt and a lot of perfume. If I have to choose between writing and making dinner… there’s a salad and go across the street.

Other people have different priorities. That’s okay. But often writing gets pushed off. There’s always something more important. Sometimes the thing that’s more important than writing is legitimate, like housekeeping or childcare or an additional job.

Sometimes, the things people prioritize over their writing is social media. Netflix. Video games. Binging distractions so you don’t have to actually put in the work. I don’t want to be that person. I want to be focused, I want to get things done, but I want to keep actively prioritizing my writing.

I don’t have a snappy conclusion. I just hope that I can keep showing up here to prove I showed up, that as I look back at this part of my life in the future I remember how hard I worked at something that seemed impossible, and I don’t remember the giant pile of floor laundry.

I could spend another half an hour trying to tie this together nicely, but I have other priorities.

BH ❤